Paper Moon
by somewhat intriguing
Summary: They were close; they had been from the day they first met. But when they are suddenly torn apart, Lucy soon learns that there is more to love than she had ever realized. NaLu.
1. Rhythm

_Note_: I had a lot of fun writing this. I hope you guys have just as much fun reading it. The title is subject to change. I'm sure you will realize eventually but I will let you know regardless.

Constructive criticism is always appreciated. I've been out of the writing scene for a while and I'm trying to get my sea legs back!

* * *

_Paper Moon_

_Chapter One_

_Rhythm_

_X794; April_

Lucy again awoke that morning, blindly pawing for the familiar warmth that was always there next to her. When her fingers brushed against something soft, she rolled over, smiling softly at the sight next to her.

"Luuuu-cy…" Big, round eyes opened up and looked at her, hopeful and sad. "I miss Natsu."

She smiled sadly. "Me too, Happy." She rubbed his head comfortingly. "I'm sure it won't be much longer now."

"Aye." The luster was long since gone from his small voice. Happy was nearly unrecognizable these days, the mirth that he commonly exuded replaced by a sadness that was not customary for the Exceed. It broke her heart to see him so forlorn and empty.

She sat up in the bed, mustering up the most genuine smile she could. "How about I buy you the biggest, freshest fish for breakfast?" She coaxed him gently, trying to ignite more life into her furry companion.

Happy barely reacted. "If you want."

Lucy frowned. That had been the sixth fish he turned down from her. She could not blame him. She was having just as hard a time as he was with this.

Two months.

It had been two months since the first time and the last time he kissed her. Even to this day, her lips still burned with his touch. It lasted only a moment but it felt like it had gone on for days and the sensation had lasted all this time. What she had been hoping for from her absent-minded partner for so long ended as quickly as it had begun. It was as if a wildfire had been set off inside her but now she was lingering in the smoldering ashes without a clue on where to go next, or even how to.

It did not take her long to come to the conclusion: Lucy Heartfilia was hopelessly lost.

She had always been so confident in herself, ready to give it her all even if she knew she could not keep up. She had always pulled through by sheer willpower and stubbornness – much like her knuckleheaded partner. But with Natsu not around, she felt a little more of that assurance dwindle away with each passing moment.

Her best friend was gone, just when she thought they were something more. And she did not know when, or if, he would be back.

She silently berated herself at that thought. Natsu had a knack for defying the odds and he would again, hopefully soon.

"Just let me know if you change your mind, Happy. I'm going to get ready." Lucy shifted off the bed.

"Aye."

She left Happy alone on the bed, unsure about leaving him but not wanting to press him too hard. He would have to come around eventually, whether on his own or by someone else's means. He knew where to find her if he got up.

The guildhall was not as lively as she was accustomed to, the spirits of its patrons significantly depleted from their absent companion. They had begun to return to their usual activities but their enthusiasm was not as bright. It was tough on everyone but they all still had lives to live, bills to pay, mouths to feed.

She found Gray sitting at the bar, hunched over and poking at his half-eaten food.

"Good morning." She greeted, taking the stool next to him.

"Mornin'." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "You going today?"

She nodded, accepting the coffee that Mirajane brought her. "I just wanted to stop by the guild to see how everyone was doing."

He snorted. "Not much better than you." He took a bite of his potatoes.

Lucy sighed dejectedly. It was true. She would not even attempt to deny it. "I know."

They were quiet for a while, finishing their food and drink.

She turned in her seat, fixing him with a firm but hopeful stare. "What about you?"

Gray read through her aloofness easily. "Maybe tomorrow."

"You've been saying that for two months. You should stop by." She placed a reassuring hand on his forearm, leaning into him. "You two are like brothers and you haven't stopped by once for him. You owe it to Natsu and to yourself. Don't beat yourself up. This wasn't your fault –" _it was mine_, "—so please, just once. Please, Gray."

His eyes were downcast, his bangs shielding the world from the emotions that stormed in them. He was depressed, they all were, but he was taking it hard. Finally, he sighed deeply and reluctantly, he said, "Okay."

Lucy smiled, releasing the grip she had on him. "Thank you." She hopped off the stool, heading for the guild exit with just a little more happiness in her than she had felt in a long time.

"Lu-chan!" Levy called, running up to her. She clutched her hand in her own. "You're heading out already?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I just wanted to come by here for a few minutes. Have you seen Erza by any chance?"

The solid script mage shook her head. "No, she's still out on her mission."

"Oh."

Erza had been taking missions back to back a lot lately, she would be gone for days or weeks and she would return to the hall, pick up another mission and head out again within an hour. This is how she handles her grief, she was told by the master. It would take time for all of them to heal and that nothing could be forced on anyone.

And so Lucy would do her best to keep herself together for the sake of everyone. Even though she was so broken inside and she would cry for hours on end when she was alone, even though she could barely eat or sleep or muster the energy to get out of bed, she had to stay strong. She had to make sure the rest of her family could make it through such a rough time. She needed to help them but not impose them. So every day, she would try what she could to lift their spirits, to lift them up without pressuring them.

Levy poked her shoulder. "You can ahead, Lucy. We'll be fine here." The petite girl smiled and Lucy gave her a hug. Levy had been there to help hold her up on the days when she could not find the strength to herself and she would help her to look out for the rest of the guild when could not be there.

"Thank you, for everything." Lucy said, not relinquishing her hold.

"Go. I'm sure he's waiting for you." She whispered.

Lucy nodded and left the guild, heading straight for her destination.

She looked down at her guild mark, smiling as she remembered the first time she met Natsu. He was such a goof and he risked so much just to save her and invite her to join Fairy Tail. The memory brought her so much joy.

Tears started to well in her eyes as she thought about all the fun times she has had since she joined the guild, all her times with Natsu.

She walked through the doors of the large building, making her way to the front desk. "Good morning, Lucy-san. You can go on ahead."

"Thank you." She smiled as she quickly made her way to the elevator. Everyone was becoming so familiar to her. It irked a little bit to know that they knew her by her name, instead of "ma'am" or "miss." She sighed. _What do I expect? I've been here everyday for two months._

She made her way down the halls, knowing exactly where to go and the quickest paths to it. She smiled, greeting everyone as they did her.

Finally she made it to the room she was looking for and she pushed the door open. "Good morning, Natsu."

The only reply was the rhythmic sound of the heart monitor.

She took her seat next to the bed. "Gray is going to come by sometime today to see you. I hope he doesn't try to start a fight with you because he doesn't like the way you're breathing." She giggled lightly to herself. "To be honest, I half expect you start yelling for him to fight you the moment he walks in. Then we'd have to go on five missions just to pay for all damages." She smiled sadly. "Of course, you'd probably destroy the towns we go to so that wouldn't leave much for the money we'd owe here. Jeesh, I just can't win with you, can I, Natsu?"

The monitor maintained its beat.

"I still find it hilarious that the doctors were so worked up over your temperature when you first came in. They thought your 'fever' was going to kill you. They didn't expect someone with a resting body temperature of one-hundred-nine degrees Fahrenheit to be normal." A giggle escaped her lips as she recalled that incident. It had lightened the solemn mood they were in for a moment, if only slightly.

Still the hollow beep of monitor was his only response.

Lucy hated the quiet when she was around him. She had grown so used to the sound that the room felt practically silent, which was not normal when around the dragon slayer. It was unsettling.

He had been comatose for two months now. There was practically no change in his status from the day he first arrived to this moment.

Everyday the weight on her chest was heavier with the unfortunate news she continuously received: Natsu has not woken up. She finally stopped asking just over a week ago. She already knew the answer every time she came in.

She reached a tentative hand up to his forehead, brushing a loose strand of his salmon hair aside. "Happy really misses you. He turned down another fish today." She had her hands in her lap, absently wringing the hem of her skirt. "Everyone misses you. I miss you…" Her hand reached up to his, careful not to jar any of the equipment attached to his person.

"The guild has been so quiet lately. You'd think we were in the cathedral it's so quiet. You wouldn't believe it." She stroked her thumb over the back of his hand like she had so many times before, the action soothing her. This was what she was needed, his contact, his warmth.

"You're going to have to wake up sometime, you know. The guild really needs you. And if Happy keeps turning down fish, I think the world just might end." This was how their conversations went everyday. She would be charming and funny, she would be as natural as she could and they would have practically the same conversation everyday. She would say whatever and his heart would respond. Even if the only thing it told her was that we was still alive, she accepted it, albeit ruefully.

What she really wanted was to hear his voice, to hear his laugh and to be able to look into those wide, expressive eyes of his. She missed those eyes so much. No matter what he was thinking, his eyes always told her.

The tears returned, blurring her vision. "I really need you, Natsu." She choked out, lifting his hand to her chest and clutching it desperately. "I need you to wake up and open your eyes already. It's been two months, Natsu!" Her voice lowered as she calmed herself, tears still spilling from her eyes as her breathing evened out. "I can't do this without you. You need to come back to me."

She brought his hand up to her lips and placed a gentle kiss to it, hoping that life would suddenly spring out of him from the gesture.

There was a tiny pressure on her hand, so subtle that she nearly missed it entirely. She looked at Natsu's hand wrapped up in her own.

He was holding her hand.

Lucy's heart began thudding erratically, completely opposite from Natsu's steady rhythm. She did not dare move or even breathe as she turned her eyes to his face, studying his every feature fervently. He had released the grip moments after she realized but she sat there, still, silent and breathless. She was not sure how long it was before she finally leaned in near his face.

"Natsu?" The word was nearly inaudible, tumbling hopefully off her lips.

She waited, never relinquishing the grip she had on his hand.

She tried again. "Natsu, can you hear me?"

And she waited.

The only response she got was one she was familiar with and it was the first time she had ever wished she had not heard it: his heart beat.

Dejected and disheartened, she leaned back into her seat. He still was not awake yet. Her hands covered her face, attempting to shield herself from the vision before her and to keep her tears at bay. But it was futile; the image of him was burned into her memory so vividly. He was never able to close her eyes without seeing him lying there motionless, unconscious and frail.

She could not recall the events of their mission clearly. Small bits of her memory would occasionally shatter any small amount of sleep she hoped for, quelling her natural desire for slumber and leaving her staring at the ceiling for hours in the stillness of the night.

There was a massive attack, aimed at her, but he protected her. He always protected her. He was terribly wounded and in those last moments, he kissed her. It was brief and simple. It ended as quickly as it happened and when his eyes fell shut, she was sure he was dead.

In two minutes, her world had crumbled.

Her memory was still spotty and she was told she might never get it back, she was not sure she wanted it back.  
These days, the only thing she wanted back was Natsu. She wanted to be going on missions with him and getting into trouble. She wanted to yell at him for breaking into her apartment and stealing her bed and eating her food. She wanted to scold him for causing so much of a ruckus in the guild. She wanted for him to kiss her again.

Everything felt like it was falling apart in her world because Natsu was what bound them all together.

She leaned onto the side of the bed, hiding her face in her crossed arms.

Muffled sobs and the consistent beep of the surrounding machines, it was the sound she had come to be so accustomed to.

Lucy finally lifted her head, looking at the young dragon slayer's peaceful face. She wiped some tears away and sighed. "Natsu…how did we end up here?"


	2. Crush

_Paper Moon_

_Chapter 2_

_Crush_

_X794; January_

"Natsu..." Lucy growled as she stared down at her bed, her eyebrows crinkled in frustration and teeth grinding in restraint. "How many times have I told you…" she grabbed the familiar scarf and yanked with all her strength, "stop sneaking into my bed!"

She grimaced at the half naked young man now sprawled out on her floor, still snoozing peacefully. This habit of his had grown progressively worse over the past few years. He would easily pry open her window, though sometimes she would intentionally leave it unlocked for him (surprisingly to his disapproval. He would reprimand her for it in the morning, saying it was "_dangerous_" and that "_weirdoes could come sneaking into her home_.") After breaking into her apartment, he was in the perfect position to crawl right into bed with her from the windowsill and drift off to sleep.

It drove her crazy for a long time. She would yell at him, telling him that it is perverted and a breach of the social norm for their status (though he never seemed to understand any of this.) There would be kicking and slapping and complaining, all on her part. And when she finally calmed down, he would fix her with that penetrating stare of his, the one that caused her stomach to knot and her bones to numb, and he would simply say "but we're best friends," like sleeping together was the most normal thing any set of friends could do. She once made the mistake of rhetorically asking if he snuck into Gray's bed ever and he nearly burned her apartment down in anger.

She never said it again.

Lucy just simply began to expect him to be there cuddled up against her every morning, usually causing her to profusely sweat because she had still yet to acclimate to his extraordinarily high body temperature. For a brief period about a year back, the yelling had stopped, the assaults came to an end and her exasperation was dissipated. Natsu, apparently picking up on the sudden drop in morning outbursts, began to show up more and more in the middle of the night.

And then one day, Lucy had been struck with a painful and embarrassing realization and she decided that this, whatever _this_ was, needed to stop immediately.

It had not been the act of his late night home invasion that bothered her. Rather what irked her was the fact that she was beginning to not mind it, borderline enjoying it and occasionally hoping for it.

Her mind had begun to tread into dangerous, unforgivable territory and she was in desperation of reigning it back in. If her suspicions were correct, then she was jeopardizing their friendship. Plus, Natsu was relatively emotionally underdeveloped. He was competent enough in friendship and family bonds but romantically? Even she was not sure how, or even if, he could maintain a healthy romantic relationship.

Lucy shook her head.

_Okay, Lucy…don't keep doing this to yourself…you're only going to make it worse. _She mentally chided.

She finally released his scarf and stalked off to the bathroom, leaving a snoring Natsu on her floor. She needed to get ready for the day and find a job – and soon. Her rent was due on the first of February and she barely had enough for groceries, especially with Natsu and Happy regularly helping themselves to her refrigerator. Their appetites were insatiable.

She was hoping she could find one or two she could do alone that would cover all her upcoming expenses. She weighed the options every time in her head. Either take a couple, easy lower paying jobs by herself and keep all the money. Or take one, more difficult higher paying job with Natsu and split half with him and another half taken out to help pay for the inevitable damages.

She sighed. Was she the only one in the guild with even a tiny sense of self-control?

After her shower, she stepped out of her bathroom to see Natsu had already disappeared. She checked the kitchen to make sure he was really gone. "Hm, strange…he left without even saying goodbye?" That was certainly un-Natsu-like.

She made herself a quick breakfast and headed out for the guild.

* * *

"Won't Lucy be wondering where we went?" Happy asked, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

Natsu straightened his jacket and replied, "Well, her rent is due soon, isn't it? We can help her find a job." He slammed a fist into his palm. "That way, when she gets to the guild she doesn't need to look through all the boring crap."

"Aye, sir!"

Arriving at the guild, Natsu immediately went up to the request board and began scanning all the papers, mumbling bits to himself as he skimmed through them.

"Let's see here…attractive girl wanted…"

"No, they won't want Lucy." Happy interjected.

"…Requires an intelligent mage…"

Happy shook his head. "No, that won't do."

"…In need of a mage with exceptional social skills…"

"I don't know, Natsu, Lucy is kind of weird."

"…Aha!" He snatched a paper that was slightly buried beneath the others. "Looking for strong mages who can capture a group of dangerous bandits!"

"Aye!" Happy put his paw in the air.

Natsu stuffed the parchment into his pocket, marching proudly away from the board. "Just wait until Lucy sees this job. It's going to go great!"

He ordered breakfast and waited for his partner to finally arrive. Where was she? He wanted to leave on this job as soon as possible.

Lucy entered the guild without paying much mind to who was there, consumed in thought. She was still upset that Natsu left without so much as a goodbye. For all she knew, he could be gone on a job for a month and the last time they saw each other for that time would have been her yelling at his prone, unconscious form.

She huffed, frustrated and insulted. "Why that rotten je—"

"Lucy!"

Before she was aware of who was yelling out to her, she had a flier in front of her face, startling her from her thoughts. She stumbled back, tripping and falling backwards. But before she hit the ground, a strong hand grabbed her wrist, pulling her up and two small ones were on her back, pushing her forward.

She collided into something hard, the momentum propelling her too quickly forward for her to stop. Her head spun from the sudden, jerking motions coupled with her clouded thoughts, fogged by her previous agitation.

"Lucy, are you okay?"

Natsu? Why did he sound so close?

She blinked, finally acknowledging the object in front of her.

He was so close. She could feel his body heat warming her comfortably as she stood there, dumbfounded and embarrassed.

"Luce?" He pressed again.

"Natsu…" She whispered, her cheeks suddenly burning hotter than any heat she had ever felt from him.

Then she realized that the hard _thing_ she actually crashed into was _Natsu_. She was pulled tightly against his chest. He clutched her as if he were to let her go she would suddenly disappear from the very place she stood.

"They _liiiiike_ each other." Happy snickered into his paws from behind the pair.

That voice. _Happy_. Happy was watched the entire scenario. They were right at the entrance of the guild. _Anyone_ could see them. If people found out that she was having these strange feelings, it would be the death of her – and more importantly, their friendship.

Then Lucy pushed away roughly as if burned by his presence. His eyes flashed to an unrecognizable emotion but before she could analyze it, it changed again. What was that look she just saw?

"S-sorry." She stammered awkwardly, a harsh red staining her pale skin. "I'm fine. You just surprised me is all." She smoothed out her shirt anxiously, doing all she could to not look at him.

Lucy was about to spin around to slap the blue cat for his previous remark but suddenly Natsu had the flier up to her again, holding it out for her to examine. "Here, I found this." She took the paper from him. "I thought we could go on it together! Like old times!"

His smile covered his whole face, genuine and ecstatic, as if she had already accepted to tagalong with him. And honestly, seeing that overjoyed look on his face, all because he could go on a mission with her, how could she refuse? The job was for two hundred thousand jewels…

Suddenly, the apprehension lifted and she smiled back, shaking her head at her unabashed conceding. "Okay, just don't destroy the town. I do have to pay rent soon."

"I promise!"

The two let Mirajane know that they had accepted the job and decided that they would leave the following morning.

After a few hours of enjoying time with their guild mates, Lucy pushed back from the table, finding Natsu lying under a pile of destroyed furniture with Gray laughing a few feet away.

"Gray, your clothes." She said to him simply.

He jumped and started collecting his missing articles.

"Come back here, ice prick!" Natsu yelled with a small flame puffing from his mouth, jumping out from under the rubble.

She waved her hand in front of his face before he stormed off. He looked at her, one eyebrow lifted in a silent question.

"Yes, Natsu, I'm going to head home. I'm going to get packed for our mission tomorrow. You and Happy should do the same soon as well."

He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, you're right." He fell quiet for a moment. "Should I meet you at your house or at the train station?"

She shrugged, "Honestly, I'm half expecting you to already be there when I wake up in the morning anyway."

Lucy quickly shut her mouth. _Dammit, Lucy! Don't give him the idea that you like it when he's in bed with you._ The thought had raced passed her lips before she realized what she was saying, or even thinking. By the time she caught herself, it was already out there, now awkwardly hanging in the air between them.

Natsu was staring at her curiously, as if unsure of how to properly assess that one simple sentence – which had such a complex meaning frantically trying to hide beneath a barely opaque surface. She just held her breath, hoping he could not translate further into what she thoughtlessly said.

And then he smiled. "You're really weird, Luce."

She laughed nervously, waving awkwardly as she walked away. "I know, I'm a weirdo. Weird, weird, weird. That's me, Lucy the Weirdo – _oomph_!" She bumped into a table, hobbling away, slightly winded. "I'm just…going to go." And then she darted out of the guild without looking back.

Natsu silently watched the whole scene unfold, bewildered at Lucy's unexpected, peculiar behavior, or at least her "_more than usual weirdness_" as he had been appropriately calling it. These instances seemed to becoming more common he idly noted.

And then he heard it, the small, but oddly loud, voice. "You _liiiiike _her."

"Happy!" Natsu shouted angrily.

* * *

The following morning, Lucy headed to the train station alone, her single pack of luggage slung over her thin shoulders. Natsu and Happy had surprisingly not been there.

She huffed, irritated with her torn feelings. She put a hand to her forehead, grumbling nonsense to herself.

When she had noticed these strange sensations, she was aware that reversing their effects would not be a simple manner of telling herself "no." She was not sure just how or when these feelings began to solidify, becoming imperceptible while plainly apparent. She had strayed too far off the path a long time before she was more acutely aware of their true meaning.

The heated skin, the sweaty palms, the twisted stomach, the palpitations, shortness of breath. She initially thought she was coming down with some sort of illness. She was about ready to go to the doctor until she realized one crucial commonality with all those symptoms: Natsu. He was present, in body or thought, and she would suddenly be struck with these sensations.

It was not a common cold or the most recent strand of the flu, it was a much more severe affliction to be struck with, especially when your best friend was the main trigger – it was _a crush_.

Jeopardizing her friendship with Natsu was too risky so she would resist with every ounce of stubborn will she had in her. And she was overflowing with it.

Rounding the final corner to the train station, she saw Natsu and Happy waiting for her. His arms were crossed over his chest, a concentrated look sharpening the lines on his face.

"Lucy!" Happy shouted, flying over and hovering in front of her. Natsu realized she was there, smiling as he walked up to her.

"Good morning, Happy, Natsu."

"Ready to go?"

She nodded, eager to get on the road.

They entered the train car and found their seats.

"How far away is Astilbe anyway?" Natsu asked, already looking flushed.

"I think it's about five hours away by train and then it will be another couple hours by foot." She watched him carefully. "Are you already feeling sick?"

He nodded slowly, the mere thought of a five-hour train ride nauseating him further.

Suddenly, the low whistle announcing their departure rung in her ears and the train began to pitch forward as they headed for Astilbe. It was an instantaneous response to the movement of the large vehicle; Natsu turned a sickly green and lurched forward, groaning miserably as the motion sickness won the battle against his obstinacy.

It still fascinated her that someone as strong as Natsu could so easily be defeated by something as seemingly trivial as motion sickness.

She grimaced as a guttural hiccup sounded in the small space between them. "Please don't throw up on me."

The three were relatively quiet for the first hour of the ride, with the exception of Natsu's groans of displeasure and nausea. Lucy read a novel, Happy snacked on a fish next to her and Natsu whimpered helplessly from the bench he was sprawled across.

"Lu…cy…" Natsu moaned, clutching desperately to his consciousness. "Help…me…"

She rolled her eyes as she closed her book and gave him an incredulous look. Help him how? She was not Wendy; casting Troia was not on her list of magical capabilities. She was ill equipped to be of any aid to him in this situation.

Hesitantly, she set her book aside and stood up.

Happy looked up at her, ears perked and wonder scrunching his nose. "Lucy, what are you doing?"

Ignoring the blue cat, she nudged into the bench with the dragon slayer, gingerly moving his head into her lap. He groaned but it sounded less pained than they had in the previous hour.

She was stiff for a short while, tensed and awkward in the new position and unsure of what to do next. Her hands hovered above his body, tentative as to where they should go in this foreign position.

With a decisive huff, she rested a hand on his back and she allowed the other to tangle in his salmon locks. She began to draw small circles on his scalp, hoping the motion was soothing to him. It was seconds before he sighed, the noise being as close to content as his body would presently allow.

She paused as he shifted his head, turning his nose into her stomach and breathing deeply. "Lucy…" He muttered before falling asleep. She observed in mute fascination, amazed at the effect the simple massage had on him and then she smiled.

Lucy watched the scenery from her window as she continued her ministration while Natsu and Happy slept. She found herself growing more relaxed as she sat there with Natsu asleep on her lap. Their position became calming for her and she rested her head on wall, closing her eyes and soon drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_Note:_ So, this chapter went a little different than originally planned but that's okay. I'm happy with the way it turned out. At first I wasn't planning on letting these little slips from Natsu, where he's starting to recognize these (presently) strange feelings but I think it will all match up when the time comes. I hope you're all good with the way Lucy is handling these (presently) pestering feelings. I hope you enjoyed it! I'll be back soon!


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